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How are you feeling about the restrictions being lifted?

How are you feeling about the restrictions being lifted?


We've known for a while that the restrictions in place are slowly going to be lifted in 2021 with the hopes that by summer that there will be some form of 'normalcy'.

Was I excited when I first found out?

Yes! I think most of the country got excited about this.

Am I still excited about it?

I'm not sure but this is what I’ve been feeling.



This pandemic that started in 2020 that has lasted longer than anyone thought it would have. It has changed who I am as a person as I'm sure it has with many others. After being pushed into a second lockdown in 2021, we're gearing up to finally start opening up the second time and it's got me asking questions like how do we go about enjoying the freedom we have been given again? How are people going to act around each other again? Socialising has changed and it probably won't be the same as it used to be so how do we do that properly?

The closer we get to being 'free', the more I'm feeling apprehensive about it. There are some days I’m so over it and want to see my friends or go to Waterstones. But there are more days where there's a big part of me that gets nervous when I leave my house, this probably started when the first lockdown happened, and I know I'm not the only one who felt like this. So now when I go out, I need to have a reason to leave the house unlike before, where I would go out whenever I wanted. I guess its good practise given the pandemic but how much of it is genuinely good if it effects your confidence and self-esteem. I don't know if I would have felt like this if I lived with more people or at home, but I don't, I live with a beautiful soul who is recovering from a mental health breakdown. This beautiful soul also feels this fear for the outside but theirs stems from their illness as well as the pandemic so being around someone who feels the way I do about the outside reinforces my anxiousness about it. Don't get me wrong, I do go out but only to and from work and for respite when I need it.

There's also been some big conversations started about society due to recent topics such as racism and women's safety which is brilliant, but it has brought out conflicting opinions on it. It feels like society is more divided now than it has been in a while and having these discussions that question how society treats people out there has brought out another faction of fear for communities it affects. Being a woman of colour, it’s been amazing to see these discussions out there but there’s also a part of me worried about the negativity it’s coming with and how safe society is for marginalised people. I’ve always worried about a lot of things, but I thought I handled it well when I practised my strategies of positivity but it’s hard to do this when this fear and anxiousness gets reinforced by those around me because I’m a woman of colour.

This pandemic and these social conversations which have become more mainstream have built up a lot of anxiousness within me. I'm writing about this because I have to believe that I can't be the only one who is thinking like this and with the hope that we can actually discuss this with each other. Ask your partners, your children, extended family, or friends about how they're feeling. You never know you might put someone at ease by admitting that you are anxious or afraid. It doesn't have to be about what I've wrote, it could be about anything that is worrying you, just have a conversation with someone about your feelings and theirs. Maybe you could drop a message in the comments about how you’re feeling. If not, that is fine but remember that you can always reach out to someone, even at CREST because we are here to listen and support you.


RRK




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